ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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