Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Randomize
