i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
