omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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