there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
