2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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