I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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