Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Randomize
