he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
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