"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
how does that bad decision feel?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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