he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure