hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Randomize