So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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