It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
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