I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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