He asked to "fluff my boner.."
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Randomize
