if you like me you must not know who I am
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
