In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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