I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize