I want to have your abortion
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
