i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
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