we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
