you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize