I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
