look no pants
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
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