why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
