fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
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