I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
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dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
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What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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