It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
