No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
