I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Randomize
