can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
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I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
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pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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