About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I understand Curling. That high.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
