Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
