bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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