I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
