1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
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she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
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He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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