you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
3pm strippers are depressing
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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