Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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