Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
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