Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
