if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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