Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
