Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
