I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
