nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Randomize
