AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am one with the molecules
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize