how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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