i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
