Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
