If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
one two three fourrrrnication!
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize