I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
