so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
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