I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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