So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
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