i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I need a hoe opinion