I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
