Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.

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(636): View more from Missouri

Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life

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(303): View more from Colorado

okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.

(785): View more from Kansas

again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.

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(937): View more from Ohio

how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?

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21 Reasons You’ll Be Forever Alone
Read it at the TFLN blog
(815): View more from Illinois

Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it

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(254): View more from Texas

I have a surprise for you

(1-254): View more from Texas

Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!

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(207): View more from Maine

It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.

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(609): View more from New Jersey

I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.

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(701): View more from North Dakota

I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.

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