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• (954): View more from Florida

  The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.

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• (352): View more from Florida

  homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...

  (1-352): View more from Florida

  so you did it...

  (352): View more from Florida

  obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"

  (1-519): View more from Ontario

  I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.

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  21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (377): View more from

  I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"

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• (580): View more from Oklahoma

  That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.

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• (561): View more from Florida

  Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!

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• (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.

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• (309): View more from Illinois

  Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.

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  19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”

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• (775): View more from Nevada

  He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks

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• (206): View more from Washington

  Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me

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• (856): View more from New Jersey

  Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.

  (856): View more from New Jersey

  For the caroling or the orgy?

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• (804): View more from Virginia

  I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.

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• (310): View more from California

  I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.

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• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?

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