his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
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the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
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I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Strip Simon Says: DO IT