i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.