So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
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Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
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Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
its like you know when i get waxed