Texts From Last Night

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  (313): View more from Michigan

  remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.

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  (313): remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck. http://tfl.nu/0g1v
  Replies (3) Good night (1104) Bad night (608)
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  (952): View more from Minnesota

  I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga

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  (952): I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga http://tfl.nu/qw9z
  Replies (29) Good night (13320) Bad night (1036)
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  (830): View more from Texas

  she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.

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  (830): she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again. http://tfl.nu/v31h
  Replies (17) Good night (1010) Bad night (4700)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.

  (1-919): View more from North Carolina

  Please get laid.

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  (919): I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot. (1-919): Please get laid. http://tfl.nu/xffk
  Replies (37) Good night (1898) Bad night (5859)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor

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  (315): im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor http://tfl.nu/m26k
  Replies (15) Good night (5558) Bad night (871)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?

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  (303): What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil? http://tfl.nu/rel9
  Replies (22) Good night (5089) Bad night (1443)
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  It's chlamydia! Thank God!

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  (408): It's chlamydia! Thank God! http://tfl.nu/1hqj
  Replies (25) Good night (1540) Bad night (8356)
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  (571): View more from Virginia

  What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?

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  (571): What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song? http://tfl.nu/zr38
  Replies (26) Good night (3236) Bad night (1015)
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.

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  (864): its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow. http://tfl.nu/4cn9
  Replies (2) Good night (1796) Bad night (732)
• Favorite

  (229): View more from Georgia

  Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes

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  (229): Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes http://tfl.nu/ukqo
  Replies (3) Good night (715) Bad night (1023)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".

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  (916): You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar". http://tfl.nu/r1q0
  Replies (6) Good night (2216) Bad night (530)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?

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  (407): Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night? http://tfl.nu/69ho
  Replies (4) Good night (1014) Bad night (460)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me

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  (630): Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me http://tfl.nu/sh43
  Replies (7) Good night (962) Bad night (419)
• Favorite

  (606): View more from Kentucky

  You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed

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  (606): You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed http://tfl.nu/ihu1
  Replies (2) Good night (405) Bad night (250)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass

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  (508): I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass http://tfl.nu/mz48
  Replies (3) Good night (324) Bad night (569)

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