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So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
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